Celebrity Lego Sets

My favourite Lego Set and kept for the last Lego Set of 2007 - Heather Mills Action Set with Police Motorbike. Ho Ho Ho! Have a great Festive season people. See you next year!

Christmas Special Newsletter

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Christmas Special 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

Well, the year is nearly over. It’s been one of the greatest years for celebrity gossip and perfect for the first year of the Friends of Celebrities. Thanks for sharing it with me. Next year is going to be bigger and better. Watch out for some special changes in the January newsletter. And with them, I’m sure a whole bunch of celebrities will be signing up to meet you all. Until then, let’s remind ourselves of some of the best bits of 2007, with a miniature FoC awards ceremony. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, see you in 2008!!!

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BEST CELEBRITY LEGO SET
Go to the homepage friendsofcelebrities.com my favourite of the lego sets of gold digging Heather Mills. (Don’t forget she lost her leg in an accident with a police motorbike.)

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BEST LOONEY
Heather Mills McCartney showed how delusional she was once again this week, with a pathetic attempt to convince the world how poorly she has been treated. She compared herself to Princess Diana and mother of missing 4 year old Madeleine McCann in a sad attempt to gain sympathy. She whinged about her £1.5million legal costs. She begged people to believe she didn’t want any money. And claimed she was thinking of suicide. Just because you say it, doesn’t make it true. No matter how many times you repeat it. It really back-fired and she looked like an idiot. We want her to get in touch so we can help her get back to her roots.

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WORST KEPT SECRET
Fashion designer Roberto Cavalli has confirmed the rumours. Phew! Although, J-Lo herself and hubby have still refused to confirm the rumours, preferring people thought she was just plain fat.

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BEST ADOPTION
Both Madonna and Angelina Jolie are both in the market for a new accessory baby. Madonna is just waiting for the adoption agency to get back to her. Angelina has already made enquiries and jetted off to Africa to do a bit of window shopping. It’s a good thing. As long as they are doing it for the right reasons. Good job Michael Jackson isn’t following the trend. There would be an outrage!

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BEST PICTURE
Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, squeaky clean super star Vanessa Hudgens isn’t any of those things anymore. When will famous people learn that they just have to not do the things we all enjoy (like taking nude pictures of ourselves) to protect their careers? Apparently it was taken for boyfriend and co-star Zac Efron. But the pics seem to clash with Disney’s plans for the starlet.

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BEST COUPLE
For all the hoo-ha surrounding Amy Winehouse and hubby’s alleged heroin use, it turns out that Blake is a bit of a bad egg after all. He was due to go to court after assaulting a chap outside a pub. He had the bright idea of offering the guy £200,000 ($400,000) to drop the charges. However, the cunning guy went straight to the police and newspapers. The sentence for this serious crime is up to life imprisonment. He won’t get that but it could be a long time. Also, there will be claims that Amy knew nothing about it. Hmmmm, do you believe that?

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WORST LIAR
Heather Mills has been fired by her own lawyers. She apparently kept calling her main guy while he was grieving and ignored everything they told her to do. The madwoman doesn’t care about what’s right, just what she wants. She claims to have been taping conversations with Paul which prove that he called Heather a one legged bitch. (Sounds about right to me.) She also says ‘it's clear from the tape that Paul has apologized for the marriage breakdown and how he treated her.’ Well, that sounds like he is a very nice man.

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BEST FAD
Bottom Facials. La-la land’s latest craze is to have a lovely exfoliating face massage – on your ar*e. I suppose it’s designed to stop you looking sh*t.

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BEST DEATH THREAT
A fundamentalist terror group in the Gaza Strip have got a bee in their bonnet with celebrities, specifically Madonna and Britney Spears. Leader Mohammad Abdel-Al stated in a book that: ‘If I meet those whores, I will have the honour to be the first one to cut the heads of Madonna and Britney Spears.’ I reckon he is just upset because he can’t get any tickets for their shows.

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BEST BONK BUST
Just what was Sting doing, coming out of famous Hamburg Brothel, Relax Bordello? Although his publicist was un-available for comment, I am positive that the positive spin put on this will be the old classic – researching for a film. Watch this space.

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BEST COMEBACK
Paris Hilton took time off from her extensive charity work (that we never hear anything about) in order to take time out to seriously PAR-TAY! She treated onlookers to a sexy and lengthy pole dance in a nightclub. There must have been a mirror close by for her to watch herself.

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BEST BREAKDOWN
One hell of a week for Amy Winehouse. Doing drugs with a hooker, attacking her boyfriend, throwing her brother (who was sent to help her) out of her hotel, having a screaming match on one of London busiest streets, making up, running out of a restaurant and getting thrown out of her hotel suite. Plus her family are telling everybody who’ll listen that their daughter is going to die soon. The only good thing that happened to her was probably injecting heroin. And that is a BAD idea. Amy, we’re here for you, girl.

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BEST CELEBRITY SEARCHES 2007

1. BRITNEY SPEARS!
2. Paris Hilton
3. Beyonce
4. Lindsay Lohan
5. Fergie

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Be my friend at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities

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Thanks to everyone for signing up. Please forward this message to your friends or tell them to sign up. Better to get on the mailing list earlier than later! If you have any tips or stories email me at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and I’ll see you all in the new year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL CELEBRITIES AND THE FRIENDS OF CELEBRITIES!!!!

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

The final answer of the years Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz is the queen of celebrity gossip - going for seven decades and seven husbands and still counting - Elizabeth Taylor. See you next year for even more Screwed Up Celebrities!

Celebrity Lego Sets

It's gun toting Phil Spector! He apparently fired a gun next to John Lennon's ear in anger. To which Lennon said, "If your gonna kill me Phil, just kill me. But don't damage my ears, I need them."

Spice Girls Comeback

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday10th December 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

It’s a positive note this week as the much criticised Spice Girls comeback tour kicked off to much fanfare. The word is that it’s a great show. Here’s all the other news from the greatest show on earth – The Friends of Celebrities Newsletter…

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Amy Doing More Drugs than Ever
Why doesn’t anybody ever get on with their mother-in-law? In Amy Winehouse’s case it’s probably because she has just told the world that Amy is neglecting her jailbird husband and is taking more drugs than ever. Nice.

Luckily for Amy her friend and fellow crack-head Pete Doherty has been coming round to her house at 4 in the morning for a session. We hope that’s a jamming session, rather than a huge session of coke. What was that big bag of white powder photographed in Amy’s car trunk? I’m talking about the back of her car, of course not her nose.

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Revolver Re-loaded
Madonna’s hubby Guy Richie is re-releasing his huge flop of a movie Revolver in the U.S. Lets hope no one remembers it was awful, although it was so bad they probably will. Lets hope he doesn’t shoot himself in the foot second time around.

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Celebrity Lego Sets
Go to the homepage friendsofcelebrities.com to see the newest celebrity lego set of gun-toting Phil Spector. Bang!

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Brad Pitt Eco-Warrior
Good on you Bradley. While your wife is saving the children of the world you are making a difference in the hurricane hit area of New Orleans. He has put his own cash into a project that will design and build flood proof homes. Go Brad!

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Heaven Knows Who’s Miserable Now
Pop Diva Morrisey, famed for being super miserable and pretentious (as well as writing some amazing songs) is suing a music newspaper. He claims the NME took comments he made out of context in order to claim he was a racist.

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Mika Has Day Off School
Children’s party entertainer Mika has cancelled his UK tour because of a virus. The squeaky star had a note signing him off by his mum.

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Relationships On:
Lewis Hamilton + Nicole Scherzinger (in his dreams)
Robbie Williams + Ayda Field
Alex Zane + Sadie Frost
Jessica Simpson + Tony Romo

Relationships Off:
Hulk Hogan + Linda Hogan

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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Cameron Diaz
3. Jessica Simpson
4. Paris Hilton
5. Alicia Keys

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Be my friend at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities

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Worlds Richest Dog Stalked
No, I’m not talking about Paris Hilton. The World’s richest dog, Troubles is living up to her name by receiving death threats. She is using false names and her food is made by top chefs.

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Jonathan Rhys Meyers handed a caution for his attempt to board a plane while drunk.

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Grooverider Heading for Jail
Last week we reported that the DJ had run into a spot of bother at Dubai Airport. It now looks like he could spend up to 4 years in jail after been caught smuggling a small quantity of marijuana and porn into Dubai in his record collection.

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Weekly Britney Crisis
It was a week like any other for the troubled star – with a huge crisis. Britney is reportedly being accused of multiple counts of multiple child abuse and neglect. And of course there’s another child on the way. Poor Britney. She’s needs a friend like us.

She also is being investigated for allegedly stealing £14,000 worth of fur coats from a designer and running over a Sheriff’s Deputy while driving away from court. Well, makes a change from a photographer.

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Lazy Lohan has been photographed all week with super heroes and their kids for a German magazine shoot.

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Scarlett Sues
Scarlett Johansson is suing an American magazine after it claimed she had plastic surgery on her nose. The star vehemently denies ever having any surgery and is against it. She is hot enough already, we think!

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And Hudgens Sued
Vanessa is being sued by an agent after they claim she took too long to turn down a contract. Ridiculous!

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Doherty Punched in the Face by Drug Nutter
Poor Pete. He moved to the countryside to get away from the drugs. But while having a quiet drink in his new pub the local drug dealer came in and punched him in the face. The man who neighbours say is a psycho shouted at Doherty to only buy his drugs from him. Nice.

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Lily Allen avoided her dad at the Comedy Awards this week despite both being present.

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Keifer Sutherland Behind Bars
He checked himself into jail this week to start his 48 day sentence for drink driving and breaking his parole. This means he’ll be spending Christmas in the slammer. No turkey for him then!

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Amy Sings the Blues
Although she has cancelled her tour for being a complete mess she did have time to play a short set at the Jazz Café. However, reports are that she was less than organised.

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Robbie Williams to Join Take That
We’ve heard the rumours before but word on the street is Robbie is ready to join his former band on tour. While Robbie’s career is flopping, the washed up boy band is taking the world by storm. Apparently Robbie wants a piece of the action. Despite having to pay half a million quid to their former manager this week after saying he stole money in his song lyrics.

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Goodfella Escapes Jail
Ray Liotta has been let off with a fine for dangerous driving. The gangster film star crashed his vehicle into two parked cars. Naughty, naughty.

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What a Shambles, Baby
The band Babyshambles had to get a guy in the audience to stand in for Pete Doherty after he failed to turned up. Maybe because he was buying drugs from the guy who punched him in the face.

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Lily Allen Get Mobile Phone Rebate
Lily made £140,000 for a 40 minute set this week. She boasted to the audience at Paper nightclub about being paid so much for the Nokia Christmas party, but it was worth it. They got a free bit of advertising right here on the Friends of Celebrities.

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And finally…
This week in England a man was arrested for faking his own death, returning after five years claiming he didn’t remember a thing. It’s not celebrity news, but interestingly he was travelling the world on a fake passport under the name John Jones. I just want it know that it wasn’t me, ok?

Thanks for signing up. Please tell your friends who haven’t signed up to get the newsletter and thanks to everyone who has been emailing me at john@friendsofcelebrities.com

See you next week and keep going to the website for more great stuff coming very soon.

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Can you get the Screwed Up Celebrity this week? Good luck! Answer next Friday.


Last weeks answer was good old Colin Farrell. Click on QUIZ on the right hand menu for all previous weeks screwed up celebs.

Celebrity Lego Sets

After the success of the Lily Allen Action Figure comes the Michael Jackson Action Set. The perfect Christmas present for any child or adult, from when Michael Jackson was at his Badest. An original one off for your friends to enjoy and laugh along with. With Bubbles!

Email john@friendsofcelebrities.com to snap up the second in the series, before some else does!

Madness and Meltdowns

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 3rd December 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

It’s been a mixed bag of celeb news this week – and it’s all gripping stuff. From the meltdowns of Britney Spears to the Madness of Heather Mills. It’s all here right here…

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True Blue
Madonna was in trouble with animal rights groups this week. She had a flock of sheep dyed the colour blue for a photo shoot. Some people claimed it was just a big publicity stunt. And a Baaaa-d one at that. (Sorry.)

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Britney Pregnant
A Top UK newspaper has exclusively revealed that Britney Spears in expecting her third child. And is completely furious that her secret is out. Exciting!

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Celebrity Lego Sets
Go to the homepage friendsofcelebrities.com to see the latest celebrity lego set. Cool!

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Heather Mills Whinges Again
Sir Paul’s wife was complaining again this week. She was angry because she feels like she has been treated worse than a murderer or a paedophile. Well, at least those two groups of people know when to keep their mouth shut. Why can’t she?

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Winehouse Quits Tour
Some friends of mine went to a Winehouse gig last week and said that it was really a shame to see her drunk, confused and singing badly. They thought it was quite sad

She has pulled out of tour at the cost of half a million pounds. She claims it was because she misses her husband. Ahhh. How romantic. Unlesss your one of the fans who are affected. Although, from the reviews it seems you won’t be missing much.

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Porn and Dope
The DJ know as Grooverider was in trouble this week. He was arrested at Dubai airport after being found with marijuana and hardcore porn. It was hidden in his records. Naughty, naughty.

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Relationships On:
Brian McFadden + Delta Goodrem (getting married)
Naomi Campbell + Lewis Hamilton
Brian Adams + Elle McPherson
Prince Harry + Chelsey Davies (back on already)
Paul McCartney + Rossanna Arquette

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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Cameron Diaz
3. Alicia Keys
4. Paris Hilton
5. Vanessa Hudgens

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Be my friend at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities

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Johnny Depp Film Geek
Johnny was kept busy this week shopping for Christmas gifts in London. Where? Well, where else other than a shop specialising in film memorabilia and toys. Maybe he was buying models of himself in Pirates of the Carribean.

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Doherty Bans Booze
The ex-crack head has banned the rest of his group and everyone on the Babyshambles tour bus from drinking alcohol. The star is worried that the temptation to drink will make him turn to heroin. The band say they’ve been forced to hide bottles of beer under their pillow. Don’t tell Doherty that.

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Wacko Jacko Joins Bros
There are rumours that Michael Jackson will be joining his brothers for The Jacksons re-union. I hope that’s true and if it is I’m definitely booking a ticket. We love the Jacksons!

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Britney Driving Troubles
Britney Spears driver has quit after just two days. He claims being the stars driver was a liability, especially avoiding the paparazzi. However, Britney could be in trouble again after being spotted driving whilst writing a text message on her mobile.

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Guitarist Slash admits he finds strip clubs boring as he’s seen it all (and a lot more) before.

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Brosnan Spared Jail
Pierce Brosnan was not given a jail sentence for allegedly punching a photographer who tried to take a picture of him. The pap claimed Brosnan had shouted at him to ‘get a real job!’

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Mel B Comes Second
Despite support coming strong from the other Spice Girls, Mel B came a plucky second. Her pleas to be embraced by the American public on the top show Dancing with the Stars did not come true. She was pipped to the chequered flag by a racing driver.

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Britney in Shoplift Shock
Poor Brits was back in the headlines. In a Californian sex shop she got angry after not being allowed to try on some ‘barely legal’ underwear. Amazingly, she then took off her own knickers in the middle of the shop and tried them on. Ordered to pay she did but annoyed as she walked out she took a wig off a mannequin and took it with her – without paying. Witnesses said it was like watching a child. Poor Britney.

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Grandma’s in PVC Watch
The Spice Girls Tour was up in the air after Geri’s baby got chicken pox and the girls worried they might catch it too. Good news though, Posh it to become the face of fashion designer Marc Jacobs and pose nude in order to sell his charity t-shirts. But most importantly, my Spice Girls tickets arrived. Yay!

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Blondie Flops
The recent west end show ‘Desperately Seeking Susan’ closed this week after only one month. The show of the film was reworked with Blondie songs and was panned by fans and critics, closing with losses of £3.5 million. Ooooops.

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Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Tell your friends about us, and thanks again for being one of the Friends of Celebrities.

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Can you guess who it is this week? Answer on Friday.



Last weeks answer was OJ Simpson. Check out all the quizzes by clicking right here or on 'QUIZ'.

Good buy: The Osbournes stuff

The Osbournes are having a garage sale! Check out their stuff at the their auction and you can buy and own a piece of rock history. Click here to see it.

NEW! - Celebrity Lego Sets - NEW!

I am pleased to announce this new feature of Celebrity Lego Sets. I've already made four and here is the first one. Keep checking the website to see the latest adds. This is the simplest and they're gonna get a whole lot better than this. And don't forget to pass them on to your friends! Enjoy!!!

(If you would like to purchase this one off original set, email me at john@friendsofcelebrities.com)

Winehouse in Court

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 26th November 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

It’s been a difficult week for Amy Winehouse. So we’ve got FOUR separate stories on her alone. Plus a whole lot more great stories from the week’s celebrity news.

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Kanye West Breaks Down
During a gig in Paris, Mr West dedicated his song, ‘Hey Momma’ to his recently deceased mother Dr Donda West. However, halfway through, he broke down and stopped singing. The band continued as the crowd shouted words of support. However after her funeral he gave one of the best concerts of his life. Go Kanye!

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Nicole Kidman Scared
Tom Cruise’s ex was in court to tell how she was ‘really scared’ after being chased by a paparazzi. A newspaper claimed that the pap was reckless and so the photographer sued the paper. However, Kidman is testifying against the photographer’s story.

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Winehouse: Story One
She told fans at a gig in Glasgow that she was going to send her hubby a bouquet of flowers. He won’t be able to buy anyone off with those. And it will attract the wrong kind of attention from fellow inmates. Surely some snout or porn would help him out more.

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British X-Factor winner Leona Lewis is breaking every kind of record possibly with her latest album and single offering.

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Relationships On:
Jamie Bourke + Agness Deyn
Ryan Gosling + Michelle Williams
Preston + Camille Aznar
James Blunt + Lady Emily Compton
Kylie + James Gooding
Jamie Winstone + Alfie Allen

Relationships Off:
Geri Halliwell + Evgeny Lebedev

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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Cameron Diaz
3. Paris Hilton
4. Kate Middleton
5. Beyonce Knowles

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Be my friend at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities

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Anderton Dropped by Fake Bake
You can’t expect them to do anything else after the model was found out to be a $20,000 a night hooker, junkie and drug fixer. But, please, can Fake Bake change their name?

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Hollywood Hunk Arrested on Plane
Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested boarding a plane while steaming drunk. Later he blamed it on the sudden death of his mother. Maybe he should hook up with Kanye to see how to cope with loss in a positive way. Jonathan was admitted to rehab with alcohol addiction earlier in the year.

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Winehouse Story Two
Mrs Winehouse, Amy’s mum told reporters that she is happy that her daughter’s husband Blake Fielder-Civil is behind bars. She believes he has been a bad influence on Amy and hopes that while he is away she can get better. So, she won’t be happy to hear that Amy is hanging out with Pete Doherty.

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Red Hot Under the Collar Chilli Peppers
The band are suing TV programme ‘Californication’ after they claim they made the word their own. Although the word was first used in the 70’s, the band who had an album, song and tour of the same name at the peak of their career, say the programme is trading off their image.

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Lily Allen was caught being carried out of a taxi this week after a night out.

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Britney’s Driving Blind
Britney was driving with her head covered up by a blanket. Despite many recent driving convictions. However, she didn’t hit any photographers or other vehicles or endanger her kids lifes, so it seems to be an improvement. But what was she hiding?

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Pete Doherty is expected to check himself into rehab after many relapses.

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Winehouse Story Three
The troubled starlet was caught with a big clump of white powder up her right nostril. The papers were full of stories claiming it was cocaine. Oh Dear. Amy, you’ve lots of friends right here at The Friends Of Celebrities. We’ll take you out bowling, like regular folk.

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Mike Tyson spent a day in prison this week for drug possession.

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Posh Sex Star
The Spice Girl is set to have a walk-in role on the Sex And The City Movie. After a terrible performance in Ugly Betty - as herself – we dread to see the latest cameo. The best acting I’ve seen Posh do was during her so called ‘reality’ documentary. Although, we still love her.

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Kelly’s Boyfriend Familiar
The Youngest Osbourne turned up at a bash with her new fella. Scarily (and scarily is the right word) he looked a lot like Kelly’s Dad, and Price of Darkness, Ozzy.

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Grandma’s in PVC
That’s what the Spice Girls were called by Reverend and the Maker front man John McClure. I must admit their first show on UK’s Children in Need charity show was a bit weak. It looked fab, but the girls mimed. I’m still looking forward to seeing them in January though. Go Spice Girls!

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Winehouse Story Four
Our final story based on Winehouse’s Weekus Horribilis. She turned up to support her husband as he had his day in court. They exchanged air kisses and whispered messages. But she cried when her husband was sent back to jail for conspiracy to pervert the court of justice meaning he’ll probably spend their first Christmas married in the slammer.

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Celebrity is Now a Job
In England an insurance company now allows you to state ‘celebrity’ as an official job title. However, if you do your premiums go up by 40%. Well, it’s a dangerous job. All that cocaine and car chases.

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Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Tell your friends about us, and thanks again for being one of the Friends of Celebrities. You rock!

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Last weeks answer was of course Christina Aguilera. Can you get it this week? Answer next Friday. Don't forget to sign up for the nesletter. You'll get a reminder of all the weeks top stories every Monday and be in with the chance of being chosen to meet one of our celebrity clients. Do it now!

Prostitute Model Drug Loss

British Model Sophie Anderton lost a modelling contract with 'Fake Bake' after she was caught offering her services as a £10,000 a night prostitute while slightly toasted on cocaine.

The contract was worth £100,000 a year. Pah! She can make that back in just ten nights as a hooker! Or less, if you can persuade someone else to join her as she confessed to the undercover reporter that threesomes were £15,000 a night. And who wants to model for a cookie company anyway?

In other news, when I googled 'cocaine' to find the picture above loads of celebrities pics came up, especially Linsday Lohan. Celebraties, staff of the white powder (and I'm not talking about Fake Bake) or you''l lose your jobs! Just look at Kate Moss. Errr, that's a bad example. Just trust the Friends of Celebrities and say 'no' to drugs.

Jail, Jail, Jail

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 19th November 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

No fewer than three celebrities could be facing a long stretch this week. OJ Simpson, Blake Fielder-Civil and Boy George. None of them are strangers to the long arm of the law, but this time it could be serious. Read on…

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OJ Simpson Back in the Dock
I suppose it’s not as serious as his last stint in the courtroom. The Naked Gun star got in trouble with the law charged with murdering his ex-wife and her lover. He was found not guilty, but was later found guilty in a civil court. He got a hefty fine, but kept his liberty. He should be hoping for the same this time as he faces trial for armed robbery. He claims he was only joking. Hilarious!

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Boy Oh Boy
Boy George served his community service sweeping the New York sidewalks. But this time he could spend life in jail in the UK for imprisoning a ‘model’ in his London home.

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Britney Looks a Million Dollars
And that’s exactly what she has spent on a recent plastic surgery shopping spree. Lips, stomach, thighs and boobs have all been touched up. However, it still doesn’t show too much when you look like a train wreck crying in your car as your world fall apart.

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Also, Britney Fails Drugs Test
Poor Britney, she should be showing off her new fantastic look, but she’s got other things on her mind as she fails a random drugs test for Amphetamines. Although some reports are that she did pass, but it was a false reading.

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Relationships On:
Heath Ledger + Kate Hudson
Josh Hartnett + Rihanna

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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Gemma Atkinson
3. Paris Hilton
4. Britney Spears
5. Kate Middleton

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Be my friend at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities

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Winehouse Comeback Falls Flat
With her husband behind bars, it was back to business for Amy with a gig in Birmingham. With mixed reviews of genius and porr, she did manage to offend almost all her fans by calling the crowd rude words. She then sang Valerie, which she dedicated to her jail-bird hubby. However, half way through the The Zutons song that includes the line ‘did you have to go jail’ she dropped the microphone and walked off stage. Nice!

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Coldest Celebrities according to a recent poll:

1. George Bush
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Jim Carey
4. Comedies not associated with Judd Apalow.
5. Own Wilson

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Meanwhile…
Paul has been enjoying the company of someone who knows how to conduct herself during a separation, millionaire Nancy Shevell. He even popped into a lingerie shop to buy her a little surprise. Heather is apparently ‘livid’.

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Ambulance for Winehouse!
This week an ambulance was called to Amy Winehouse’s house. She was treated in the house but it is not known what for.

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Kanye West Tragedy
Kanye West’s mum tragically died while having cosmetic surgery this week. Our thoughts go out o him and his family. However, since then there have been reports that the Dr who carried out the procedure was less than legit.

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Was another woman involved in Prince Harry’s split with Chelsy Davies. He’s just like his dad!

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Beyonce Causes a Scene
A billboard advert for a radio station is driving Las Vegas resident wild – with rage. The huge image shows a sexy Beyonce in a flesh coloured, tiny bikini. I think it looks great, but I suppose it distract them from their gambling.

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Christina Aguilera has had a boy! Hooray!

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Huge Grant makes a fortune from Liz
Lucky English Fopp, Hugh Grant sold an Andy Warhol painting he bought for £2million this week for a whopping £11million. He only got it five years ago and has made a HUGE profit.

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Jessica Simpson, Dog Smuggler
She isn’t the brightest lamp in the ceiling, but we didn’t think she was this dim. She kept her dog in her handbag at the airport and was stopped at customs.

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Pete at it Again
Pete shows he had a bit of a Jessica Simpson moment, but at least he has got the excuse that he is high on hardcore drugs. He was filmed shooting up again this week. He should always remember to not let people film him. How hard can it be?

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Jolie to lose kids?
Brangelina could have reason to very concerned this week. The parents of Zahara, one of the children they have adopted want their child back. Of course they can’t do that, but it will ask a lot of awkward moral questions for Brangelina to face.

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Typical In-laws
If that wasn’t bad enough, just when Brangelina should be united, Brad parents stuff it up at Thanksgiving. They have invited Brad’s ex Jennifer Aniston over to dinner. Angelina walked out on Bradley screaming that his parents prefer Jen to her. Which, from the evidence, seems to be the case. Nice one Mr and Mrs Pit Senior.

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And finally…
Paris Hilton took time off from her extensive charity work (that we never hear anything about) in order to take time out to seriously PAR-TAY! She treated onlookers to a sexy and lengthy pole dance in a nightclub. There must have been a mirror close by for her to watch herself.

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Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Thanks for signing up and please tell your friends about us. There will be more great stuff on the website very soon. Hold tight!

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

It's now on Fridays! Yes, to save me time, to keep you in suspense and to give you an extra wekend to think about it - the Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz will now be posted on a Friday, with the answer next Friday. And because you've got a bit of extra time, I think this week's quiz is a little harder than the average. But she is mega-famous. Good luck!

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Mr Bradley Pitt. Congratulations for those of you who got it right. More quizzes are waiting for you right here.

Celebrity Warning Signs - Jail

Oh dear. It seems like another British celebrity could be joining Winhouse's hubby in the clink. Boy George had a guy he met over the internet round to his house to take a few photos and then didn't let him go. According to the man who was held against his will the ex-culture club singer produced whips and sex toys. He only escaped after pulling a clamp off the wall.

Mr George, has been in trouble with the law before. Once for serious heroin addiction. And, more recently, wasting police time when he reported a fake robbery and the cops found some nose candy on the counter of his kitchen. He serves community service, sweeping the New York streets, but this new crime has a maximum sentence of life imprisonment.

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Can you guess who it is this week? Good luck!!

Play previous quizzes by clicking on QUIZ on the right hand menu or by clicking here.

Winehouse Jail Crisis

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 12th November 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

It’s been a busy week in celebland. Loads of high profile bust-ups and legal wrangling. Here’s a roundup of the weeks news…

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Winehouse Could Be Lonely
For all the hoo-ha surrounding Amy Winehouse and hubby’s alleged heroin use, it turns out that Blake is a bit of a bad egg after all. He was due to go to court after assaulting a chap outside a pub. He had the bright idea of offering the guy £200,000 ($400,000) to drop the charges. However, the cunning guy went straight to the police and newspapers. The sentence for this serious crime is up to life imprisonment. He won’t get that but it could be a long time. Also, there will be claims that Amy knew nothing about it. Hmmmm, do you believe that?

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Good News for Amy
On the positive side for Amy – despite having difficulty getting a US work visa because of her drug trouble in Norway – she has been granted a permit to work in the US. So, at least she can busy herself at work while her husband does porridge.

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Pete Doherty Makes a Fool of his Fans
I feel sorry for the babyshambles followers. When a tape of Dog-herty shooting up was shown in the newspapers and blogs, they all leapt to his defence. ‘Where’s his new tattoo?’ ‘His hair is longer’. ‘Check your sources,’ they said. So the papers did and two days later he issued an apology for his relapse. He said it was stupid. But at least he got off some prison time while he was ‘clean’.

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Prince’s Fans are not so Appreciated
While Dog-herty’s fans rally round to support him, Princes fans are rallying around to attack the half-pint sized star. He is biting the hand that feeds him by suing all the fan sites that breech his copyright - by posting images of him.

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Relationships On:
Ashley Olsen +Lance Armstrong
Owen Wilson + Jessica Simpson
Paul McCartney + Nancy Shevall

Relationships Off:
PRINCE HARRY + CHELSEY

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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Cameron Diaz
3. Nell McAndrew
4. Paris Hilton
5. Kate Middleton

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Be my friend at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities

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Boyzone are the latest group to reform. This time it’s for charity. Look forward to a European tour and millions of extra cash for the boy band soon.

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Heather Loses Leg to Stand On.
Heather Mills has been fired by her own lawyers. She apparently kept calling her main guy while he was grieving and ignored everything they told her to do. The madwoman doesn’t care about what’s right, just what she wants. She claims to have been taping conversations with Paul which prove that he called Heather a one legged bitch. (Sounds about right to me.) She also says ‘it's clear from the tape that Paul has apologized for the marriage breakdown and how he treated her.’ Well, that sounds like he is a very nice man.

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Meanwhile…
Paul has been enjoying the company of someone who knows how to conduct herself during a separation, millionaire Nancy Shevell. He even popped into a lingerie shop to buy her a little surprise. Heather is apparently ‘livid’.

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Paparazzi – A Man Down
A Pap has sued Keanu Reeves after the star hit him with his Porsche 911. The Matrix hero’s defence – “He was in the way.” Although Reeves also says that any contact was un-intentional and, if any contact was made it was minimal.

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Michael Jackson Homeless
It makes me laugh when people say Michael Jackson is bankrupt. I’m sure some of his business affairs have gone down the pan, but there’s plenty more where they come from. Now his Neverland range will be repossessed unless he pays a £12 million debt. But as Jacko only has bad memories of child sex claims there, he won’t be sad to see the back of it.

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Britney’s Mum Takes the Blame
Ms Spears senior claims it’s her fault the star is troubled. She should have been with her through the loneliness of Britney’s world tour. Don’t be too hard on yourself, mum. But next time get one of the Friends of Celebrities to go with her. We know the meaning of going to bed early so you don’t get up late for work.

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Mickey Rourke Arrested
Mickey is no stranger to the long arm of the law, having been inside a couple of times before. When he got on his moped after leaving a bar, he was arrested by a traffic cop for drink driving. And taken to the cells for a night. As it turned out, he hadn’t been drinking at all. But before the cop had a chance to check, Rourke had said a rude word to him, and was marched off to the station for that instead. It’s just another day in the crazy life of a Hollywood hell-raiser!

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And finally…
I saw a headline saying ‘Madonna Appeals for Orphan’. I thought she was on the look out for a new child to adopt. But no, she is raising money for her charity work. Keep it up Madge!

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Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Thanks for signing up and please tell your friends about us. There will be more great stuff on the website very soon. Hold tight!

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Did you get it? Jack Nicholson. More next monday. Or, if you can't wait, click here or on quiz for previous Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz.

The worst kept secret in celebville

Good news everyone. We're not all going crazy. And J-Lo isn't just getting fat like us regular people. She has confirmed that she IS PREGNANT. We couldn't believe it when we heard it. We had forgotten because it was sooo long ago when we knew it in the first place. Good luck. I'm sure the child will be a chip off the old Jenny from the block.

Pete Dog-herty: Back in business

You have to feel sorry for Peter. He's a rock star. Shooting up copious amounts of skag is what rock stars do. It's great to see those old rockers like Steve Tyler and David Bowie, in the autumn of their lives having kicked the habit. But they are old. And you know all that great music was produced while on the hard stuff. Whether that hard stuff made those albums better or worse, we'll never know.

But Pete is in his prime. He's too young to say, "I've kicked the habit." Boring! We don't want a fat, middle-aged, past it, sober rock star. Phil Collins fills those shoes. We need a skinny, tortured genius. Otherwise it looks bad in our record collection. Who cares if the music's shit or he falls asleep at the microphone. At least we know that he's high on Horse. You can tell your friends, "It was great. Pete was high as a kite and could hardly talk." Just the way it should be.

If the music is shit now, it's just because it's shit and nothing else. So Pete is probably right to have a relapse. It's better for his brand. He's keeping the customers, who have bought into heroin chic, satisfied. And he's doing what people expect of him. The only people you have to worry about is his mum and Pete, the real person, not the 'rock star' you always see in the media.

Get well soon, Peter.

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Answer on Friday. Keep coming back until then.

Heather Mills McCartney Madness

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 5th November 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

I’ve been on holiday this week. Plus you had a lovely bonus Halloween Special. So, I’m going to keep it brief this week. But still immensely entertaining…

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Deluded Mills
Heather Mills McCartney showed how delusional she was once again this week, with a pathetic attempt to convince the world how poorly she has been treated. She compared herself to Princess Diana and mother of missing 4 year old Madeleine McCann in a sad attempt to gain sympathy. She whinged about her £1.5million legal costs. She begged people to believe she didn’t want any money. And claimed she was thinking of suicide. Just because you say it, doesn’t make it true. No matter how many times you repeat it. It really back-fired and she looked like an idiot. We want her to get in touch so we can help her get back to her roots.

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Take That: One down, Three To Go
Is Robbie Williams picking off Take That members one by one in jealousy? After their huge comeback success Howard Donald missed out on European Dates. He punctured a lung while doing the splits in rehearsals. Ouch!

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Talking of Robbie Williams
The Pop Superstar was conned out of $400,000 by friends. They claimed that they were starting up a fashion label. But just spent it all on themselves. That’s why you should keep business separate. And always use the trusted Friends of Celebrities, for social events.

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Relationships Off:
Pink + Carey Hart

Relationships On:
Lindsay Lohan + Riley Keogh (getting married)

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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Cameron Diaz
3. Paris Hilton
4. Kate Middleton
5. Angelina Jolie

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Lily Allen was voted as sexier tha Cheyl Cole in a Nuts magazine Poll. And quite right! Lily is my friend on myspace at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities

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Has Simon Cowell had Surgery?
We always thought that stupid grin was because he’s made millions from his show X-factor. But fellow judge on the UK show, Louis Walsh claims that the music mogal has splashed his cash having a bit of work done.

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J-Lo is Pregnant
Fashion designer Roberto Cavalli has confirmed the rumours. Phew! Although, J-Lo herself and hubby have still refused to confirm the rumours, preferring people thought she was just plain fat.

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Paris Shocker
Halloween came early for Paris Hilton. She stepped up to a Playboy Mansion party dressed as a ‘sexy’ Alice in Wonderland. But she looked more like the Ugly Duckling.

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Daniel Craig has signed up for a fourth Bond movie. Apparently the girls will be very happy about that!

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Osbournes Selling Their Stuff
It’s a car boot sale like never before. Surely not for the cash, the Osbourne are selling loads of their furniture and stuff, including Kelly’s pink bed. Hmmmm.

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Britney Update
I didn’t quite understand it and it seems to be the same every week – but Britney lost another custody battle for her kids this week. However, on a positive note, people are saying her new album is great, receiving rave reviews and a few five stars. This could be a turning point for the troubled starlet. Go Britney!

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Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Thanks for signing up and please tell your friends about us.

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Sharon Osbourne! More next week! Click on 'Quiz' on the right for more Screwed Up Celebs.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Please bear with us as we go through a few changes improving the website and blog. Type in your email bottom right to sign up and be considered for meeting one of our celebrity clients. Plus you can keep on top of the latest showbiz gossip with our weekly newsletter. Enjoy.

Drugs and Gay Sex Blackmail Royal Named

I'm not allowed to tell you who the member of royal family accused of coke taking and gay romp blackmail scandal. So, do not click here otherwise you'll find out. And if anyone asks, it wasn't me, right?

Arrrrghhhhhh! Halloween Special

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Halloween Special 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

Woooooaaaaaaah! Welcome to the first Friends of Celebrities Halloween Special. You MUST forward this email to 5 people otherwise you will be cursed with all the evils of celebrity, but with none of the money and fame. Pass it on and you will be as successful and happy as Justin Timberlake. (Wow, that guy is positive!) It’s easy. Enjoy…

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Top Earning Dead Celebs
1. Kurt Cobain
2. Elvis Presley
3. Charles Schulz (Snoopy creator)
4. John Lennon
5. Albert Einstein
6. Andy Warhol
7. Dr Seuss
8. Ray Charles
9. Marilyn Monroe
10. Johnny Cash
11. J.R.R. Tolkien
12. George Harrison
13. Bob Marley

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Celebrity Hooooooowlers
“So, Where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” – Christina Aguilera

“I love British food – especially pasta.” – Kate Moss

“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.” – Brooke Shields

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” – Britney Spears

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” – Mariah Carey

“It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” – Al Gore

“Sometimes, to win in football, you have to score goals” – England Soccer Coach Sven Goran Erikson.

“Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says Chicken of the Sea” – Jessica Simpson

“I think that the film 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.” - Alicia Silverstone

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Visit my MySpace page at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities and don’t be such a stranger.

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Ghostly Story
This Halloween evening, if you dare, go to the mirror at two o’clock in the morning. Close your eyes and concentrate on the fact that you believe in ghosts. According to legend, if you think hard enough you can summon the faces of the dead. But be careful, do not step into the mirror if offered by a spirit, as the ghastly ghoul is tricking you into swapping their damned life of eternity in limbo for yours.

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Celebrity Haunts: London
If you go out tonight, go to these places for your best chance of seeing a celebrity stumbling around like a zombie looking for the Cristal:
The Burlington Club
Boujis
Mahiki
The Dorchester Hotel
Chinawhite
The Groucho Club
The Ivy
The Wolseley
Le Caprice
Hawley Arms
Mo*vida
Amika
Bungalow8
Kingley Club
Nobu

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What Will Happen if You Don’t Pass this Email On
Harry Houdini (Erich Weiss) - magician 1926 --- ruptured appendix. He died on Halloween.

Brian Jones - musician, one-time Rolling Stone 1969 --- drowned in his swimming pool while drunk and on drugs.

Florence Griffith Joyner - US Olympic sprinter 1998 --- an epileptic seizure triggered by a brain abnormality. She died in her sleep at the age of 38.

Bruce Lee - actor 1973 --- died suddenly from a swollen brain.

John Lennon1980 --- shot to death by a mentally ill fan.

Tupac Shakur - musician 1996 --- murdered in drive-by shooting.

Diana Spencer - Princess of Wales 1997 --- car crash while eluding paparazzi.

Salvatore "Sonny" Bono 1998 --- crashed into a tree while skiing.

Jeff Buckley - musician 1997 --- drowned in the Mississippi River, near Mud Island Harbor, on May 29. His body wasn't found until June 4.

James Dean (James Byron) 1955 --- car crash.

Marc Bolan – musician T-Rex – overdose of a tree while driving.

So, pass this on to 5 people or else. Mwaa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa.

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Want to know the British Royal who was recently blackmailed and accused of drugs and gay sex? Visit friendsofcelebrities.com now!

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For those of you who have received this email from a friends. Pass it on and be showered with the Joys of Justin Trousersnake. Ignore it at your peril, and be visited by the spirit of Anna Nicole Smith.

Seriously, if you don’t know, the Friends of Celebrities is the first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities who need to keep it real, once in a while. Sign up at friendsofcelebries.com now. Simply give us your email and you could be meeting up with a celebrity for a beer in your local pub. Plus you’ll be kept up to date with all the latest showbiz gossip. Sign up now!!!

Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Thanks for signing up and please tell your friends about us.

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

The layout has changed but it's still the same amazing fun. Who is it this week? And don't forget to play all the previous Screwed Up Celebrities Quizzes by clicking here right now!

Hollywood is on Fire this Week!

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 29th October 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

It ‘s been a hot week this week in every sense of the word. While the whole of L.A. has been fighting fires, our celebrities have been fighting, bullying, going to court and having their lips pumped full of collagen. Read on….

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Fire. Fire. The roof is on fire.
We are here for all the celebs who had to leave their homes in the face of this week’s tragedy. I’m sure all us Friends of Celebrities have a spare sofa for them all to sleep on, don’t we? Stars who were affected include:

Jennifer Aniston
Courtney Cox
Mel Gibson
Pierce Brosnan
Jim Carrey
Bill Murray
Brangelina
James Cameron
Britney Spears
Sting
Pamela Anderson
Olivia Newton John
Robert Redford
Barbera Streisand
Cher
Richard Gere
Martin Sheen
And Courtney Love

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Talking of Courtney Love
Luckily she wasn’t in Malibu at the time of the fires. But she still needed a sofa. She was told that 5 star hotel Claridges was ‘full’ when she tried to check in this week. But only for her. She has been banned from the posh hotel after she caused damage last time she stayed by – aptly – starting a fire.

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Relationship Off:
Jennifer Aniston + Orlando Bloom
Nikki Graham + Chris Neal

Relationships On:
Chris Neal + Chantelle Houghton
Josh Hartnett + Rihanna
Jake Gyllanhaal + Reese Witherspoon (back on)

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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Cameron Diaz
3. Paris Hilton
4. Kate Middleton
5. Cat Deeley

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Visit my MySpace page at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities and don’t be such a stranger.

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Doherty Back in Court
But his time he was praised by a judge and had his sentence slashed after kicking the crack. When asked if he intended to stay clean his less than enthusiastic reply was, “I suppose I’ll have to know.” However, by Friday he was spotted falling asleep in court.

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Who dined at the Ivy this week?
Tom Cruise, Robert Redford, David Tennant and the grumpy old guy from ‘One Foot in the Grave’.

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Congratulation to Borat and Isla Fisher who had a baby girl this week.

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Britney Update
First every newspaper was talking about her new plumped up lips. Maybe she couldn’t see over them and that was why she ran over that photographer? Her parents were spotted driving to K-Feds place for crisis talks. Brits was spotted crying after leaving the first co-parent meeting with K-Fed and the boys. She also attended a parenting lesson. Ex-Princess (not the Black Eyed Peas one) Fergie said she would help the troubled star. And good news, charges of Hit and Run were dropped. Phew!

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Copperfield Does Disappearing Act
Following allegations of rape, the conman conjurer has cancelled a tour of Asian. Lucky them!

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Mel C Bullied Claims
Sporty Spice says she was bullied into the Spice Girls re-union for being a spoil-sport. She said she would never get back with the band but felt she had to after the others said they would do it ‘with or without her’. She eventually gave into the pressure. I think this is quite disrespectful to the fans (if she did feel that, she should keep schtum). But I’m still definitely going to see them - whether she wants to do it or not!

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Elton’s Photo’s Not Child Porn
An art show was in chaos as one of the pictures, owned by Elton John, was seized by police fearing it could be child pornography. The picture by Nan Goldin shows a naked girl. However, the picture is, after all, art. Phew!

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Congratulations Lee Evans
The stand up comedian has broken the world record for the biggest ever comedy performances. Selling out two days at the O2 in London, he will play to 15,000 people. It beats the previous record held by – Lee Evans.

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Comebacks Kids
It seems all the new acts breaking this year are just old acts coming back together, in return for shed loads of cash. The Sex Pistols started their world tour this week. And we here that The Backstreets Boys will also be back - all right!

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Wino ‘Engulfed in Shame’
Engulfed. Nice choice of word by the Jazz Popstar this week to describe how she felt after the shame of her drug overdose. Bearing in mind the situation in America. She admitted she was stupid and thought she was going to die.

This website will be changing a bit in the next few weeks. It all got a bit higgldy-pigglydy as I added stuff. The new look will be easier for me to add even more great things. And it will be more friendlier for you guys to use it. Plus it will leave me to concentrate on getting more celebs. Things are going to get even better, very soon. So, watch this space.

Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Thanks for signing up and please tell your friends about us.

John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities

P.S. Hello to Kelly Rowland who I met at Virgin Megastores this week.

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Elton John. Check out previous weeks quizzes right here, right now.

Yaaaawn

Pete Dog-herty has left his fiancee. Why? He wants Kate back, that's why. Get over it, Pete.

Los Angeles on Fire

Unfortunately, this is a diagram from an American science textbook. As you can see the fuel in most fires is indeed celebrity housing. We hope the fires get under control soon.

Usually, when there is a disaster the celebs organise a big TV fundraiser. Does that mean, now it's they who are in trouble, us normal folk have to pass the tin around and raise cash? Homeless Celebrities are no good to us at all. Mother Nature, give these guys a break. And that goes for you arsonists too.

Give Dog-herty a break

The poor guy has just weened himself off Heroin and Crack and all the papers and magazines are laughing and complaining that he is fat!! Well, what do you expect? When he was strung out on Horse, 'eating' probably wasn't the first thing on his out of control mind. It's called looking after yourself. Don't listen to them Pete, go up to buffet and help yourself to thirds.

Kid Ruck - Round 2

Fresh from his victory punch up with Tommy Lee at the MTV awards. Kid Rock was in the mood for some argy bargy yesterday at Waffle House. After a waffle customer recognised one of the girls with Rock, words were exchanged before talks collapsed into fisty-cuffs.

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Good luck! Answer on Friday.

This weeks fantastic newsletter...

Click here for the full insatiable truth of this weeks news. If you didn't get it in your inbox it's because you haven't signed up here. So do it now!!!

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Bit of a trick one this week, as it's our first ever dead screwed up celebrity - Marilyn Monroe. Did you get it? Click here for more Screwed Up Celebrity Quizzes. More next week.

Winehouse arrested for possesssion

The singer has a bit more to declare than her genius while preparing for a gig in Sweden. Cops came to her hotel to find 7 grams of weed! She was promptly marched off to the station where she paid a small fine and then came back straight away to do the gig. Witnesses said she was very relaxed about it all. Well, I wonder why that was?

Angelina off to Rehab?

There are whispers that Angelina has told Brad she wants to go to rehab. No, not for her addiction to adopting kids. Seems her recent weight loss is due to the stress of losing her mother. Exactly what she needs rehabilitation from, we're not sure. I'm guessing depression or even possibley an eating disorder. Get well soon.

Lohan is back - and on form

Good news. The child-star hellraiser is out of Rehab and back in business. It's good to hear that the trip seems to have been a successful one. We hope that she stays off the drugs and stays healthy. But fans won't be dissappointed that she hasn't lost any of her personality. She's already grabbing the headlines with her new rocker boyfriend, who she met in Rehab, is also an-ex druggie and it seems she has stolen him from his fiancee. Ooops!

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Who is it this week? It's a bit of a trick one. Good luck!!!

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Owen Wilson. That cheeky comedy chap. Hope he recovers well after the attempted suicide bid. See you next week for more fun. And visit the previous weeks QUIZ right here. Horrah!

We were right!

Probably. The only difference between this NEXT WEEKS NEWS ARTICLE and yesterdays real story was the amount (add and extra £10 million). Oh well, Paul, you still got another £825million left.

Meet Liz Hurley

Click here for details on how to meet Liz Hurley in Londons Selfridges on Thursday 11th October.

Britney passes drugs test

Good news for Britney. Well, as good as it gets these days. She has passed her first random drugs test, ordered by the judge in her custody battle. She also has applied for a job as a bramaid at the fashionable Viceroy Hotel. Hang on, she doesn't need a job!

That must be one of the un-predictable behaviours that means her estranged father thinks it is right to get lawyers to find a way of forcing Britney to go to rehab. Helpful? What I reckon is a nice steady job in a local hotel would do Britney the world of good. Problem is that her superstardom means she can't do that. I'm sure she'll work it out without anyone wading in for their fifteen minutes of fame.

Sooty Drugs Shame

Don't forget to check out NEXT WEEKS NEWS every week. Where we rip up the weeks magazines and predict the future stories. Or click on the menu on the right. Go on, it's a bit of fun!